After each production (and a well-earned holiday), the Villagers return in September refreshed and ready to begin a new production.  But a production can't be laid to rest without our annual awards, the Grouchies, which are presented during our September meeting.  Some of the awards are serious, some not-so-serious, and over the years some awards have been given names to commemorate particular highpoints in our history.

Our 2017 awards are given below (winners are underscored).  Some might seem a little obscure - email us and we'll let you in on the joke.

Master of Ceremonies and Chairman of the Nominating Committee - Ian Wright


Mispronunciation Award

Sharon – Parallez

Graham – Count Rosalyn

Phil – Mud died

Dan J – “Kingsman” rather than “Kinsman”

Ian – “All is forgitten” at Nicholson Gardens

Phil - “Carbonated”

The Bob Hatcher Award for Saving the day

Charlotte for playing Diana at short notice

Dan M for stepping in as the Duke of Florence

Mark for stepping in as Young Lord 1

Mark for stepping in for Parolles on Friday

Glyn for stepping in as an attendant and Quack Physician

Andy for stepping in as Young Lord 1 on Friday

Sean for saving Lizzie when she went blank at Swanmore


Best Prop

The rings

The M & M’s

The Pillow Case

The Mannequin Head

Helen’s letter at Lepe

Parolles’ hankies

Mark’s soggy book at the Village on Friday

The James Doyle “But Soft” Award for Best Line

Lafeu – “come on my son!”

Helen – “All’s Well That Ends Well”

Soldier – “Cargo, Cargo, Cargo”

Lafeu – “Mine eyes smell onions”

Lafeu – “A Fistula my Lord”

Parolles – “A foolish boy – ruttish”

The Sir Mo Farah Award for Going the Extra Mile

Lizzie – running all the way to rehearsal in a deluge

Sharon for appearing with a fully loaded tuck shop at Lepe

Graham for turning up on Monday after the barbecue to help us put the party tent away

Everyone for turning up on Saturday after the soaking on Friday!!

Sean – to the toilet at Lepe!


The Graham Thomas “What the hell was that?!” Award for Best Accent

Mark for his Russian

Lizzie for her Russian

Andy for his Russian on Friday

Phil for his “anything Graham can do I can do better” accent

The Finbar Saunders Award for Best Double Entendre

Clown leaving his stool all over the stage

Bertram with his monumental ring

The King saying he would relieve Helen

Diana being loathe to produce her bad instrument

Bertram for boggling shrewdly

The Friar Laurence Award for brevity in public speaking

Helen - Act 1 Sc 1

King – Act 1 Sc 2

King  - Act 2 Sc 3

Helen - Act 3 Sc 3

Parolles - Act 4 Sc 5

Best Newcomer

Lizzie Harvey

Dan Morgan

Charlotte Windebank


The Mark Wright Award for Missed Entrance

John on Friday, Saturday and Sunday

Mark in Act 2 Sc 1 at the Dress Rehearsal

Rob for Friday at the Village

John, the super smug one, sitting in the dry at the Village on Friday

Sean for Urinegate!

Best Impression of a Celebrity

Rob as Puss in Boots

Dan J as a Ninja warrior

Lizzie as Count Orlov

Paul as Jack Regan from The Sweeney

Pat as Burt Bacharach

Graham and Brian as The Chuckle Brothers

Best Sound Effect

The Tucket

The song at the end

The marching troops

Stuart’s giggle as 3rd suitor

Best Make up

Sharon as Mariana

Glyn as the Floozie

Jill as a Floozie

Carol as a Floozie


The Nigel Dean award for Services to Script Editing and the Art of the Adlib

Sean – It’s Rousillon! How very dare you!?

Ian – He looks relieved on it!! At Lepe during Urinegate

Mark – Don’t hide my eyes, for obvious reasons!  On Friday at the Village

Sarah – I am a simple ( soggy ) maid


Best Unscripted Moment

Brian falling asleep at the word run-through

Glyn, Graham and Brian being on the stage in the wrong scene

Graham putting the tent back at Nicholson Gardens

The tabards on the wrong tables at Swanmore

Graham forgetting Rousillon’s name at Swanmore

Sean and his Amazing Uncontrollable Bladder

Best Costume

Jill’s red wig

Glyn’s blond bombshell wig

Parolles’s great finery

Most Typecast

All the Loose women!!

Rob as someone who runs into people’s displeasure

Graham and Brian as “Old” Lords

Charlotte as a fresh uncropped flower

Mark and Dan J as men without language to deny the Tuscan ladies

Sean as a man with “sick desires”

Ian as someone who is rapidly falling apart

Rob as someone who knows about the motions


Least typecast

Paul as someone who would ever use a word like “bastard”

Sean as someone who is irresistible to women

Glyn as someone who mops Ian’s brow on demand

Mark, Dan and Andy as “Young” Lords

Ian as someone with the body of a 30 year old

Annette as someone with both age and honour

Best Insult

Rob  “A dangerous and lascivious boy”

Rob “A dumb innocent”

Rob “He will steal sir, an egg out of a cloister”

Rob “Drunkenness is his best virtue”

Paul “Methinks thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee”

Sean “He’s a cat”

Best Song

The finale Pat Aird

Phil as Clown


The “Not the Nigel Dean” Award for Word Perfection

The Mannequin Head

Carol Hicks as a loose woman

Charlotte as Diana in Act 5 Sc 1

Soldier in 1st Half

Floozies in 1st half

John on first three nights

Dan M on Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday

The Nigel Dean Award (formerly The Proper Villager Award)

Aussie Hicks, Glyn Wright, Ian Wright, Carol Hicks