After each production (and a well-earned holiday), the Villagers return in September refreshed and ready to begin a new production.  But a production can't be laid to rest without our annual awards, the Grouchies, which are presented during our September meeting.  Some of the awards are serious, some not-so-serious, and over the years some awards have been given names to commemorate particular highpoints in our history.

Our 2023 awards are given below (winners are underscored).  Some might seem a little obscure - email us and we'll let you in on the joke.

Master of Ceremonies and Chairman of the Nominating Committee - Ian Wright

Least Typecast

Beth as a woman with a jingle for every bloke she’s had
Carol as a “virtuous and reverend lady”
Glyn as a knife wielding street fighter
Ria as someone who sees men as “masters of their females”
Sharon as a “Luce” woman
Brian as someone who holds “dainties cheap”
Chris as someone who wears a suit of buff

The Bob Hatcher Award for Saving the Day

Iain C for bringing us Beth
Brian for standing in for Chris at Sway
Alfie for playing both Dromios
Liam for stepping in as second Dromio following his critical triumph as Richard III
Eddie for stepping in as The Duke
Ria for stepping in as Luciana
Jan for stepping in as prompt

The Cast of 2020 Award for Missed Entrance

Chris at Sway
Dan at Denmead
Iain C at Village and Swanmore
The British Summer at Sway, Denmead and Swanmore

The James Doyle ‘But Soft’ Award for Best Line

Rob for “Mmf, mmphfm, mmm and so am I”
Alfie for “She is spherical, like a globe”
Alfie for “Dromio, Dromio! Wherefore art THOU Dromio?”
Andy for “I will have law in Ephesus”
Beth for “Well met. Well met, Master Antipholus”
Mark for “500 ducats villain, for a rope”

The Tom Cruise Award for Mission Impossible

Glyn expecting the right cue from Andy and Mark
Ian for expecting he’s got friends – anywhere!
Eddie for expecting someone to “guard with halberds”
Jan for expecting the cast to stick to the script

The Blackadder Award for Best Insult

Ria for “Thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot”
Mark for “Thou whoreson senseless villain”
Mark for “You minion you”
Mark for “ a needy, hollow eyed, sharp eyed wretch, a dead looking man”

The Crufts Homophone Award for Best Pause

The Cast before the Collective “Aah” in act 5

Best Prop

The Handcuffs
The Chain
The Swords
The Fish
The Iron Crow
The Rope
The Fardel
The Blade

Best Sound Effect

The Bell
The Courtesan’s Jingle Bells
Dromio’s Fart
The Hubbub

Best Impression of a Celebrity

Carol as Eric Morecambe during rehearsals – all the right words, just not necessarily in the right order
Iain C as Heston Blumenthal at Denmead
Rob as Boris Johnson
Susan as Mary Portas
Carol as Mother Abbess in the Sound of Music
Andy as Private Walker from Dad’s Army
Jess as Rasputin, the Mad Monk
Andy as Postman Pat
Guitar Dave as Tony
Tony as Guitar Dave

The Friar Lawrence Award for Brevity in Public Speaking

Ian in Act 1 Scene 1
Mark in Act 5
Sarah in Act 5
Jan at The Alverbank

Best Gag

Alfie for “Dromio, Dromio! Wherefore art THOU Dromio?”
The Cast for the collective “Aagh” in Act 5
Rob and Alfie for The Sword Swap in Act 4
Alfie for “For Cod’s Sake”
Alfie for the sign turning
Alfie and Rob for the ‘Bald’ and ‘Hairy’ men sketch
Dan, Alfie and Liam for “Oh Dromio” at the end

Best Costume

The Fezzes
The Antipholine (Antipholean?) (Antipholistic?) Jackets
Duke Solinus’s Crown
The Habit
Pinch’s Full Set

The Pinocchio Award for Most Wooden Performance (formerly the Best Scenery Award)

The Door
The Market Stall
The Sign
The Stool

Most Typecast – Male

Andy as a spiv
Ian as “old”
Rob as someone “stiff and weary”
Mark as someone suffering from the wind
Brian as someone who knows every hostelry
Eddie as someone that women fall prostrate before

Most Typecast – Female

Susan as a fine upstanding Citizen
Sarah as someone whose blood is mingled with the crime of lust

The Frank Sinatra Award for Best Comeback

Chris Watt
Andy White

Best Newcomer

Jess Cully
Susan Watt
Beth Elliott
Eddie Luigi
Jan MacNally
Guitar Dave

The Nigel Dean Award for Word Perfection

Glyn in first half
Susan in second half
Liam in “Doors Locked” scene


Alfie Deverill